High Control Religious & Family Systems

Growing up in a high-control family can make it difficult to know where other people's needs and expectations end and you begin.

You may have learned early that keeping a parent happy was more important than checking in with yourself. As an adult, that can show up as difficulty making decisions, needing reassurance, feeling guilty when someone is unhappy with you, avoiding conflict, overexplaining yourself, or feeling responsible for keeping relationships stable.

A lot of our work is about rebuilding trust in yourself. That can mean learning what you're actually responsible for, setting boundaries, and understanding the difference between a boundary and trying to control someone else's behavior. We work on tolerating the uncomfortable moments that come with doing things differently and, over time, creating new ways of responding.